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Did You Know ?

Major changes in a relationship, even those that are POSITIVE and HEALTHY, may create a threat for relationships?

This includes couples moving from one stage of family development to another (such as the process of going from childfree to having a family),  one partner getting healthy (weight loss, getting sober, or adopting a new eating and exercise plan), or a new income level and change in social status. 

Although they are all considered to be beneficial and happy changes, how people cope with these changes (or a lack of coping skills to such changes) may in fact destroy a relationship, as individuals might experience dissatisfaction within the relationship, that could lead to divorce.

In Fact,

A study from the University of Pittsburgh found that people who have bariatric surgery double their chances of divorce?

The study looked at data from 1,441 bariatric surgery patients and found that married patients were more than twice as likely to get divorced, compared to the general U.S. population.

Whereas the U.S. population has a divorce rate of 3.5%, bariatric patients in the study had an 8% divorce rate.

Are you in a couple where one person has lost weight and changed, and the other person has not?

If so, might you be experiencing:

  • Feeling that your partner does not support your efforts to get healthy?
  • Feeling unappreciated for all the changes you have made already to accommodate your partner?
  • Struggle to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns with your partner?
  • You do not like how your partner’s new confidence in weight loss has changed your partner?
  • One partner no longer having the energy to keep up with the more healthy partner?
  • Feel ill-at-ease with a partner’s new found attractiveness and the new attention your partner is getting from other people?
  • Find your partner getting jealous and even controlling due to the new amount of attention you are experiencing?
  • Has the improved health of one partner in the couple drastically changed that individuals’ role  and responsibilities in the relationship that makes it uncomfortable?
  • One partner having a major increase in libido and now wanting to explore adventures that the other partner never wanted to try?
  • One partner having a major decrease in libido due to hormonal changes or side effects of getting healthy (i.e. mental health medical side effects) causing frustration?
  • A partner experiencing an identity crisis causing disruption in the relationship?  The healthier person must learn who they now are, and the other partner trying to decide where they fit into the healthier person’s life?
  •  Struggling with how you perceive yourself as well as your place in the relationship, now that the changes have started to take root?
  • Worried that one of you might relapse into bad habits, or worse due to the new tensions in the relationship?
  • Do you resent how getting healthier has changed your partner and the expectations of you in your relationship?
  • Are you worried that you and your partner are growing and drifting apart and want to re-connect?

When one partner in a relationship goes through major changes, whether positive like weight loss and gained health , or negative such as a trauma and loss of health, it will have a major effect on the other partner.

It is important for couples to maintain open lines of communication at all times during the process of one or both of them getting healthy. 

Sometimes couples need a little help to deal with insecurities, learn new coping strategies, and find new ways to support their partners in order to keep the relationship strong. 

Coach Frank has years of experience as a Dating and Relationship Coach for Singles and Couples. 

Getting Healthy is Great!

Losing Weight is Great! 

Improving your overall lifestyle is GREAT!

So is saving your relationship, if those things start to become a threat.

They do not have to be a threat to your loving each other.

Just as we the obese, have to re-learn to love ourselves in ways that can lead us to be healthy,

Couples during the period of healing must also re-learn to to communicate, relate and support each other while their relationship may be going through changes.